Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Missing Artwiculate tweets

Missing tweets from Artwiculate

Many current Artwiculate players will know that once upon a time there was a scoring system, and players could vote, resulting in a winning tweet, a Top 5, Top 20, Top 50. That system has been taken down now, for good or ill. 

What is certainly 'ill' is that - for reasons best known to themselves - Artwiculate have also removed the archive, which showed the top tweets for every single word of the day. This would be a treasure trove of wit, poetry, puns, clever wordplay, haiku, playfulness.. all gone. 

Recently, I happened across the screenshots I made each day I won (vanity, vanity, all is vanity!). These showed not only my winning tweet, but as many tweets as I could fit into a single screenshot. I have converted these using OCR software, and offer them here as a record of happier days, and as an archive - sadly, only a drop in the ocean - of some of the tweets that found popularity with voters.

Please excuse that every word begins with a winning tweet from me. Had I had a crystal ball, I would have taken a screenshot every day, not just when I won, and we would have more of an archive. 

Also, apologies to one or two players whose tweet did fit on the screen, but their name did not. I have published their tweet anyway, suffixed with ??????? in lieu of a Twitter name. If they happen to read this and can identify themselves, I'll be happy to add them.

In alphabetical order then (to be completed in stages) :

aleatory    Word of the day on 27 June 2010.

She sits demure near the wall, praying to aleatory gods that some boy will notice her and
ask her to dance . #artwiculate

Aleatory shadows / over the face of the
moon / penumbra lover /// #haiku

Aleatory advice? Take two chances and call
me in the moming. #artwiculate

Aleatory Airlines: Getting to your
destination is a chance you will have to take.
#artwiculate #ihopeigetthere

experience the truth of zero / victor and
vanquished, nothing / aleatory chance or
necessity . #artwiculate

Aleatory assumptions / The plans of mice
and men / God plays only fuzzy dice

Apple plans to release a new aleatory
product for spiritual guidance - the iChing.


Word of the day on 03 May 2010.

billet-doux > @Tra1a1a56 : Magnificent Madge’s love letters to Timorous Tim were
accompanied by a hail of sharp letter-openers

Relationships swirl around me. A poem here,
a billet-doux there... None for me, as I play
another card to my Solitaire tableau.

Violets are red ~ roses are blue - here's how
to not write - a billet-doux #Haiku

It was tragic how, after a billet-doux or two
their love became stationary.

Harry finished his Twitter billet-doux.
Before he could send it, he crashed into a
light pole. Texting while walking.

billet-doux in a drawer / bring back a
memory / and, tears welling up. #artwiculate

A billet-doux to Tidd - whose childlike
sense of fun - touches all our hearts with
parcels of grown-up love

A suicide note or a billet-doux. You decide,
its up to you.

A billet-doux for all of you. Je t'aime.



Sometimes my brain, in cahoots with my tongue, makes me say stuff which my unwilling
witness of a heart regrets. #artwiculate

The stars above festoon the sky and in
cahoots the moon shines bright / Seduced,
I'm lost in this spring night.

Shocking news: my goldfish has confessed
he's in a cahoots with Satan! Or
'Beelzeblurb', as he calls him.

My doppelganger and 1 were in cahoots to
rob a bank, but that bastard double-crossed

Shh. Don't tell anyone, but l'm in cahoots
with artwiculate to prove that neophytes can
win, too!

1 think the left parenthesis is in cahoots
with the right parenthesis. (Ever notice how
they just happen to appear near each other?)

Spring Summer Autumn - in Cahoots with
each other - leave Winter white #artwiculate


Word of the day on 27 August 2010 

Constult a dictionary : Artwiculate definitions

lnstult as a restult of using constult, made
my promotion diffictult! #artwiculate

Let’s play spin the bottle and constult /
we`re never too old / for kissing games / or
for love

I advise you first to withdraw middle 'T' from
the word 'constult' ; it is confusing. #artwiculate

It helps to be bibulous to constult.

Constult - a fit of silly giggles #artwiculate

How did the square and the triangle
constult? They liked to fool a~round 

Constult? Again? stupidly-wasteful advice?
Tell me the truth. #artwiculate


Word of the day on 2 August 2010

Magritte claps, and the train explodes into a billion shards destined forever to slowly   
rotate and coruscate in the sunlight 

What do you call a dated coruscate? An old flame

Son, 1 coruscated before you were a glimmer in your mother's eye. #coruscate

Dance 'til morning comes ~ hold me with
your aching charms - coruscate the night

captured stars coruscate /within sanguine
liquid /i take a sip /from my wine glass
/filled with dreams #gogyohka 

raindancing naked, invoking whatever gods,
rivulets of raindrops coruscate on your skin

Everyone wants to coruscate on #artwiculate, but just a few succeed. 1‘m still
waiting for my time.


Word of the day on 20 September 2010

You blinded me with pretty words / You tempted me with presents / Now I see just what
you are / You fink, you leech, excrescence

Extremist political parties are an
excrescence on the face of democracy.  

Yes, it's an excrescence. And yes, 1`m
happy to see you.

Anger is an excrescence of fear. #sixwords

There was no visible excrescence, but it
shone through her sad eyes as she caught her
own reflection.

The exhaustive and execrable overuse of the word 'awesome' is an example of an
excrescence derived from once-cute transatlantic patois.

Awww...look! My baby cactus is developing a
new excrescence on the side. How cute!


Word of the day on  9 June 2010.

throw gravitas out! ~ let's be forever playful ~ and never grow up  #PeterPan #haiku   

 the first monsoon clouds ~ reminiscent  
gravitas ~ countenance of you #haiku 

Look up to the sky where ideas might collide -
apple gravitas #haiku #artwiculate

in vino veritas... but seldom gravitas ;}

Oh dear- 1 drownded my self in typographic
gravitas - Off with his head, said the red queen.

Gravitas Airlines: We're just that serious
about flying!  #artwiculate

a politician is an exemplum of gravitas :
shakes your hand before elections & your
confidence later #loqwacious #artwiculate

@artwiculate RIP My Lord Gravitas: Here
lies the grave 
??????? (@Wifsie??)

Sensei-San / unspoken gravitas / being like water
??????? (@tama001?? @agezoko??)


Word of the day on 20 October 2010.

Let he who is without syn, cast the first definition. #idiocrasy #idiosyncrasy 

1965 Vintage: Complex bouquet but despite
aging it hasn't yet matured. Can be enjoyed
now but will improve. The idiocrasy of me.

Idiocrasy? Where's my syn! #artwiculate

What made the Magnificent Madge and
Timorous Tim team so successful was Tim`s
idiocrasy: his strange need to become
catatonic with fear.

1t's magic, isn't it? A man and a woman.
Such different idiocrasy in each. Until we
touch. Until our lips meet-

The mirror is the idiocrasy of the soul.

My name is Beez Idiocrasy - 1 live in a hive
- have six legs and a pair of wings - well l
don't really - but thats my idiosyncrasy


Word of the day on 10 February 2010.

  a perfect me - tiptoes inside my skin - incognito. #haiku #artwiculate

"1 never knew you had a dog. What‘s his
name?" / "He`s not a dog, that’s my goldfish -
he's incognito."

snow on bare trees / snuggle up lncognito /
brace of birds #haiku #senryu #artwiculate 

should 1 dream incognito - smoky and hazy
gaze - ghost in the mirror - invisible soul of

Holy incognito Bruce! l mean Bat ... Oh

i am a bot who travels incognito disguised
in my human suit. clever me 

1'm incognito. I am who 1 am, but not who
you think 1 am.

Walking in a foreign land. Being myself. But
incognito to everyone else.
???????  (@SJHatzi??)

The word of the day only appears to be
incognito #artwiculate


Word of the day on 22 March 2010.

Stardust within me ~ lights my way to who I am ~ indubitably . #haiku #artwiculate

Let him who rights the wrongs, who
indubitably restores a bit of softness to our
world, have someone to embrace him when 
he comes home.

words, just flimsy words - slipping thru ether
and net - wriggling, but still - indubitably

Why was the fisherman indubitably poor?
All he cast were doubts

It‘s indubitably that I love you. It‘s because,
at that time, electricity runs to the inside of
my body, only thinks of you. #artwiculate

The dead cert is indubitably a foregone
conclusion - the live one is still weighing up
the pros and cons.

after lunch, and Spring sunshine /
indubitably get sleepy / wants refreshing
siesta . #haiku #senryu #artwiculate


Word of the day on 20 January 2010.

ineffable - Wordless Of The Day

winter gentle sunshine / quietly takes a
catnap / ineffable pleasure #haiku #senryu

You are are all priceless and ineffable (and
no that isn't a euphemism for cheap and

What is ineffable between consenting

Ineffable: Let’s not talk about it.

her ineffable infatuation became effable
when she blurted "i think you"re hot" out loud

Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and, how shall 1 put it,
more ineffable?

Ineffable? Oh f***!

Ineffable? How does Artwiculate expect me
to tweet a word that is beyond expression?
lsn`t that asking for the impossible?


Word of the day on 04 March 2010.
Twitter : logon, logorrhea, logoff

What do you call a doppelganger`s
logorrhea? Double-talk

Her logorrhea is unaware / She doesn't
seem to know or care / lf anyone's interested,
or not / In what gets past her epiglot

logorrhea: the polite way of saying diarrhea
of the mouth and constipation of the brain.

Logorrhea? You mean the copious
circumlocution of one's discursive &
pleonastic periphrastic largiloquence? Nope,
never have it.

What does logorrhea have in common with
quatopygia? Both make you want to get to the

Mopping up the logorrhea after spilling the
alphabet soup.

Sorry can`t do logorrhea, the flies'll get in.


Word of the day on 31 March 2010  

I hear the chatter of the rain / Loquacious on my window pane / A liquid teardrop  
symphony / An ocean's gifting blown to me

Real estate agent: loquacious,
loquacious, loquacious. 

a sniveling loquacious flibbertigibbet
whined on & on about her unrequited love for
a driveling oblivious hobbledehoy

The loquacious ventriloquist speaks 
magniloquent obloquy by ventriloquism.  

In hospital, l need to lie with my head down
and feet elevated. lf 1 get loquacious, it
appears that I am talking out my ass.

What do you call loquacious spies? 
Converse sneakers

@artwiculate The loquacious precocious
 sesquipedalian talked for hours but was still
a man of few words


Word of the Day on 4 Feb 2010

Along the dark hills the ragged sky breaks, and to the triumphant matutinal melody of a
million avian minstrels, a new day dawns

What 1 love about this game is that, every
minute, some artwiculator somewhere is

My matutinal doppelganger is a grumpy guy
covered in shaving cream.

Birds. Voicing matutinal celebrations.
Harbingers of green ideas. That may ripen
during this brand new day.

1 wake with a matutinal urge to greet the
day with verse. You throw a slipper at my
head. Things go from aubade to worse.

Matutinal malfunction - Morning has
broken #artwiculate

Matutinal? Yawn!

fresh snowfall /leave footprints / matutinal
small happiness #haiku #senryu

Unearthly stillness / Liquid diamonds fade
into velvet sky/ Muted sunshine rising/
Matutinal marmalade sunrise

the matutinal lover : dawn juan


Word of the day on 9 Oct 2010

Maunderlust is Wanda's little brother. He travels constantly but never gets anywhere (aww!)#maunder #artwiculate

Mmm... Maunder is my mumble name... 

Keep yer wandering eyes up here; don't ya be
lookin at maunder -wear! Pervert!

Maunder walks into a bar and says, 
'This round and round and round's on me!"

Maunder? Wanderful word! #artwiculate

♫ ♪ ♩ I come from the land Down
Maunder, Where the women roam and men
mumble ♫ ♪ ♩#Austwiculate

My goldfish like to maunder /Round and
round they go / Whiling away the hours /Til
the food next drops into the bowl 


Word of the day on 19 October 2010.

Wanda doesn't mete out her affections. She loves everyone without limit, and everyone
loves her. #artwiculate

Mete : allot a lot #artwiculate

Pat would mete out affection like a miser.
Another marriage down the drain.

After the bra fitter finished with Sally, she
said the perfunctory, "Pleased to mete you."

I asked the dominatrix to meet me at my place
to mete out my just reward

Today's voting will prove: "Entre Artwiculate
e Português, nào se mete uma palavra!"

No one who actually wants to mete out
punishment to children should ever have a
job that lets them.


Word of the day on 06 November 2010.

Politicians operate both definitions of moradacious : their lies are all soundbites . 

Captain, according to the star chart, the 
Moradacious Nebula ought to be right 
in front of us I think someone made it up! 

I‘m going to start a rival game to
Loqwacious. Itscalled Moradacious.
Clean, courteous tweets are no fun at all.


Word of the day on 3 Apr 2010 

My love, your heart is niveous / All thought and nothing felt / "Principles" make me
nervous / I'd like to see them melt

A word, a kiss, a tear, a dream, a sigh -each
a featherweight snowflake - together build
the niveous landscape of our lives

Laughing so hard we're crying. The glee of
speed. Niveous flight - tobogganing.
Afterwards he kissed my cold cheek.

my darling, you are my sherpa - you guide me
over the niveous mountains of regret and
isolation & welcome me home

A fallen glove draws a shiver - niveous sky,
wondrous, a quiver - snowflakes swirling
rivet her

Frozen irises / Of Medusa`s victims /
Niveous hell. #haiku #artwiculate

Soulless winter sun/ A million miles away/
llluminates icy eyes & niveous skin/ When 
the winter queen descends


Objurgate   WOTD 23 Sept 2010

Objurgate virus - also known as the common scold. #artwiculate

"Objurgate" is just a bollocking, but with
extra Latin.

Collective nouns: A bereft of haters; A litany
of blasphemies; An objurgate of
lightningbolts #artwiculate #lqw

He could objurgate ad nauseam, she
couldn't care less. Come hell or high water,
she‘d wear that lil' dress. #artwiculate

I don`t like to objurgate. I much prefer
simmering resentment and subtle, yet caustic

Heaven sent my Fate/ But 1 am running late/
Do they objurgate/ Past the Pearly Gate?
#artwiculate #poem

Objurgate Hair Salon offers free upbraids.
#artwiculate (objurgate)

Please absquatulate and objurgate bad
grammar from the Top Five
(? @FrankSiddharta ?)

Why did Monsieur Objurgate always carry
a jacket? Because he frequently felt scold


Word of the day on 6 October 2010.

Panurgic walks into a bar. "Jack of all Daniels, please barman". #artwiculate

Panurgic Elixir:  a panacea for what ails ya!

Panurgic, thy name is mother! #artwiculate

The other day we had erudite know it alls .
Today, we have panurgic do it alls.

\he`s pedantic \a bit idiosyncratic \yes, he's
panurgic \his verses prosaic & poetic \they
turn me oneiric \ #artwiculate #gogyohka

lf you‘re looking for a surgeon, steer clear of
Dr Panurgic. Even if he can tweet as he

ls there an opposite of panurgic? Because
l'm available if they need someone to pose for
the definition.


Word of the day on 9 November 2010.

Unemployed scientists lurk at the gates of M.I.T. pleading "Buddy, can you spare a
paradigm?" #artwiculate

I'd rather stick to my paradise than shift
my paradigm #artwiculate

a paradigm love ~ no snoring and
morning tea ~ with judgements unsaid
#haiku #makingmarriagework


WOTD when? (second time of use, anyway) 

Persiflage : Word Of The Déja-vu .

Persiflage before... & then happily ever

l told you to put a lid on it. Even the best
persiflage goes flat if you leave the cap off!

The butt of the joke is where persiflage gets

A lady cannot engage in persiflage with just
anyone. It isn't gracious to spar with the
unarmed. #YayForRecycledTweets


Word of the day on 24 April 2010.

Polymath walks into a bar. Barman:"I'm sorry sir, I can't serve you - you've had too
much to think". #artwiculate

Too many books will never spoil the

What do you call a polymath of wordplay? A

RIP: My Lady Polymath - The Woman Who
Knew Too Much. #artwiculate #hitchcock

He can say 'blurb' and 'arse' - by goldfish
standards he's a polymath.

And if I must indulge a vice / let it be stroking
the fire of a polymath burning inside / no
end to learning in sight

"Wanted: polymath woman. You know, one
who can cook, clean, mix drinks, pleasure
me, and find my car keys." Al remained

A polymath's favourite colour? Polychrome


WOTD on 11 Dec 2010 

A few bottles of spumante : party-cle fizz-ics . #artwiculate

One spumante, two spumante, three
spumante, floor.

Lascivious spumante from your eyes-starry
child of earth-never on earth a goblet can
contain. #artwiculate #micropoetry

Chorus: "Don't bury me. Save the trouble.
Soak me in spumante. And l'll be forever
blowing bubbles."

I don't mean to burst your bubble Mr
Spumante, but I’ve had enough of your
sparkling whine.

He heard her laughter bubbling forth from
across the room, eyes sparkling impishly.
The spumante couldn`t match her
effervescence. #artw

After she downed a bottle of Asti Spumante,
the wine wasn't the only thing that sparkled!

Spumante. ls it popping? #artwiculate


Word of the day on 04 January 2011.

 Tellurian : Word Of The Clay . #artwiculate

As far as alien abduction is concerned, the
intergalactic army has a 'don't ask, don't
tellurian' policy.

Whether she`s Gaia? We don't ask, she don't

Our love / Beyond tellurian / lt is celestial /
In the clouds / Welcome to mile high club
#gogyohka #artwiculate

RIP :My Lady Tellurian , once an earthling
now an earth thing - ashes to ashes, dust to
dust, amen. #artwiculate

synchronize / tellurian heartbeat/ feel the
universe in the mind . #artwiculate

Tellurian girls are easy; the land down
under's where the real challenge lies.

The salmon aquatic, the carrots tellurian,
the sauce fiery, the spices divine: lunch had.... [incomplete]

ArtwicBest tweets

The following tweets were obtained from screenshots of some "ArtwicBest" entries. This was a method of giving an award via voting on an independent website to a selection of tweets chosen by a few of the Artwiculati. I've tried to indicate the WOTD in red, but I'm not 100% positive I got it right every time!

ArtwicBest - March 2010 1st half

I forget half my words, and my husband forgets half of his; together, we make 
sentences. 50-year-old symbiosis. 

beauty is only skin deep. egregious is to the bone.

No one in this world is idoneous. A person slower than u is an idiot & a
person faster than u is a maniac. 

How do you increase your chances at winning with “gesticulate“? You cross
your fingers.
Experience is the idoneous name that every one should give to their mistakes.

According to the Yesternight Theorem there is no Tomorrow. Party on!

Inspiration is a susurrus from beyond the world in the artist's inner ear

If I an over zealous, who is under whelmed?

'ldoneous is not even in my dictionary!' / 'lt probably didn‘t fit.”

The sun & rain in harmony gesticulate their adoration of this bejewelled Earth, and
a rainbow is their love child.

our symbiosis ~ ups & downs now in abyss ~ we're in deep crisis

Surreptitiously yours - let me go.

Crepuscular light ~ oyster beds just visible ~ scintillating sea

The zealous bird catches the worm but misses the point.
Sensual symbiosis - you touch, I feel - mutual satisfaction

ArtwicBest 1st April to 15th April 

Fungible fairness - what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine?

Kiss me an archipelago; I'lI be the captain of your dreams

i cling on tightly/ to that oneiric part of me/ where fantasy's
fusion with reality/ allows me to keep my sanity/ #poetry

He loaned me his heart but I wouldn't pay it back. We came to
a fungible compromise. I gave him mine

It was a dark and stormy tweet, with words whipping the rain
right 'round the archipelago.

Bogart and Bacall ~ celluloid persiflage ~ disguised affection . #haiku

misnomer? defamation of characteristics. #artwiculate

Vernal lullaby/ Fat raindrops kiss my window/ Quiet
persiflage #haiku

@Aaron Livingston 
Slow to prowl lowly ~ feline tension sudden death ~
implacable eye #artwiculate #haikuchallenge #haiku #senryu #catku

Well Max is well hung ~ and keen on a bit of crumpet ~ so he's
gone fishing #euphemism

When my laptop battery died, I got very angry, so my therapist
suggested I find a fungible outlet.

dreamy moon rises / streaking silversweet languor / on your
silken face #haiku

Idiosyncratic her manner/Her quirks ne'er repressed/But
that's why I loved her/She was different from the rest

idiosyncratic keyboard? QUIRKY instead of QWERTY

Why does Bob Dylan look so disheveled? / The answer is 
blowin' in the wind @artwiculate

ArtwicBest  1 - 15 July 2010

After fruitless months a lack of popular a-peel & a split ln
Ieadership, the Banana Republic became a kakistocracy

He stalked the demons of his past. The sands of Iucidity poured
from his fist. Truth held captive by a phalanx of callous Iies

Camouflage corsage, bayonet rouge, is that a clutch purse or
grenade in her Ivory-gloved hand? Bellicose of the Ball.

The bedsheets are hanging out to dry. The wind whispers through
them to me.  Billow talk.

My two year old is brobdingnagian. When anyone picks hlm up
he says 'Sorry, bit heavy'. #truestory

She sits demure near the wall praying to aleatoric gods that some
boy will notice her and ask her to dance.

Afflatus means a rush of inspiration not a Brobdingnagian waste of

Why did fecundity mate with sartorial? She didn't want bare

Chortles flow downstream - Ricochet down long guffaws
- chuckle to the sea

Tomorrow is too far/ Today is already finished/ Rub you again your
lamp of caprice/ I'm the giant of smoke who Iicks your feet.

A happy chortle will ricochet from one good heart to another
until all are smiling #lqw

Chortle till you die was the sentence given to the fly

by your midnight and ~ my twilight, a phalanx of endearment ~
makes me feel right ~ #poetry

You're my imagination ~ firmament of yester years ~ a piece of
cloud ~ a drop of rain ~ and a sky of love there #lqw #poetry

I say nay to Kakistocracy ~ if you alone, cannot ~ rule my


  1. That's all I've got (apart from a more or less complete record of my own tweets).

    Did anyone else make a record of their own tweets? If so, and they care to send me a text file of them, I'd be happy to put them up here on my blog. We might be able to re-create a little of the original archive and preserve it for posterity.

  2. I am now promised some James Bond tweets from way back when - hopefully shaken but not stirred LOL. So there should be a second post, or else a continuation to this one! I will mix freely with some of my Batman tweets.

    Long live the archive!

  3. I've now added all the ArtwicBest tweets I managed to pick up. The archive is growing...